If you know me, you’ll know that I’m a huge science nerd. My friends often get annoyed with me because I’m constantly relating things to science and math is almost like a second language for me. So here’s a little connection between Catholicism and science:
FAITH IS A VECTOR
Currently, I am working with a campus minister at St. Thomas Aquinas at Purdue University alongside 7 other students in a Discipleship Training Group. In this small group, we discuss and learn new ways to be intentional friends to spread the Good News to this college campus. This is a huge challenge and even after many meetings with this group, I’m still thinking about ways to live out and share this beautiful faith.
The first step to evangelizing is to be connected to Christ yourself. You can’t share something you don’t have. However, the biggest challenge about being a devout Catholic on a college campus is that a faith that’s on fire is not normal whatsoever. It’s not the first thing we think about when we think about what a college culture looks like. These social expectations and pressures are what make living out the faith so difficult, and it’s something that I struggled with during my first semester of school.
But this is where the idea that faith is a vector comes in. A vector is a quantity that has both magnitude and direction like velocity and force. Faith is a vector in which emotion makes up the magnitude and intellect gives you direction.
I was under the impression that I would be “doing college wrong” if I didn’t participate in that stereotypical college experience. I feared judgement. I thought I was alone.
And as I kept putting myself into those environments, I felt empty. I was losing myself.
Those feelings made up the magnitude of my faith, but it took a lot of different people and events along with much reflection that I was able to gather some intellect. That negative emotion I felt was real and intense, and I could have easily let that consume me. I could have easily accepted that this was how college was going to be. This is where intellect comes into play.
I was blessed with growing up in Our Lady of Grace (my home parish). OLG gave me a beautiful faith community, and without it, I wouldn’t have known that I would need that same kind of community at Purdue. Without that blessing, I wouldn’t have had that small amount of intellect to get me out of those dark environments.
Because I only had a bit of this intellect, it took a lot of patience and courage to redirect those empty feelings. However, slowly I took advantage of the opportunities and listened to the people that led me to a path where I am currently on fire for the faith.
Without that intellect, I wouldn’t have made the decision to work as a receptionist at St. Toms (even though my dad wanted me to take a lab job). I wouldn’t have listened to my friend who encouraged me to join a Bible study group. I wouldn’t have opened up at the Boiler Awakening Retreat. I wouldn’t have taken up the challenge of leading a small group and sharing a testimony at my home parish’s Senior Retreat. I wouldn’t have been a part of this Discipleship Training Group.
Making those choices was difficult and I was very intimidated going into a new church community and going against the norm. But the more I tried, the more I gained strength in the Lord. With that strength, I was able to let go of unfulfilling expectations, allowing me to live more like and with God.
There wasn’t really this big “A-ha!” moment. It was a culmination of these blessings. It was the people that these blessings brought me (you know who you are). It was the genuine friendships that are truly centered on Christ. These are the things that helped me redirect those negative emotions into a strong faith. I don’t feel alone anymore (and I wasn’t even alone to begin with). That emptiness I felt before has been transformed to love and joy.
So that is a shortened version of my story on developing my faith vector. And now my vector is pointed towards sharing myself and this idea in order to reshape campus ministry. I encourage all people to run with Jesus, despite what people might think. I encourage you to be all in. It will look different for everybody, but I think answering these questions could give you a place to start.
Where are you right now?
Where do you want to be?
Are you on the path to get there?
A lot of people will define their faith solely on feelings, but those feelings won’t be pure happiness and sunshine all the time. There will be moments of confusion and frustration. It will take a lot of sacrifice. But it will be up to you and your intellect to use those emotions to strengthen your faith.
You won’t be alone on this path. Someone out there has the same struggles as you do, but you won’t know it unless you extend a personal invitation to grow closer to Christ together. And remember that you can always bring your burdens to Christ. You might be able to gain some intellect by simply spending time with Him in prayer. So when you’ve got something to say or think about, PRAY ABOUT IT!
So to recap: faith is a vector. It has magnitude (emotion) and direction (intellect). The strength of your faith isn't just about how you feel, but rather how you use your emotions to grow closer to Christ.
God bless.
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